Crumby Island Incident Report Tote

Crumby Island Incident Report Tote

Official Form 89-CAPA-MW

Every tote comes pre-approved by absolutely nobody.

Recovered from the archives of the Crumby Island Civic Authority, this field-issued Incident Report documents one of the island’s many spiritually active municipal emergencies. Featuring official CAPA classifications, unauthorized microwave activity, ceremonial raccoons, unwanted revelations, and a Shithawk review stamp, this tote serves as both a practical carry-all and a legally questionable government record.

Perfect for groceries, ferry lineups, sacred offerings, or transporting evidence adjacent goods.

Features:

• Durable cotton canvas construction
• Double-sided Crumby Island artwork
• Officially reviewed by Shithawk
• Spiritually active
• Greasy threat level certified
• Investigation still ongoing

Crumby Island Civic Authority Disclaimer:
If you can read this tote, you are now part of the investigation.

“Serving the public despite overwhelming evidence.” 🍟📋🦝📼